Update on my miraculous journey with God!

Hi, to all of my prayer warriors! I want you to know that I am crying as I type this e-mail. So, forgive me if I babble or have a ton of misspelled words! This is just such amazing news and I am so excited to share it with you! I should have sent this last night, but it was my first night of real rest in over a week. I was exhausted, both physically and emotionally!
So, this whole week of drama began the last week when I had a CT scan @ duke. It was a routine scan, and I was feeling great. Therefore, I didn't expect anything but good news to come. As many of you know, good news did not come. We received a phone call from the doctor that night telling us that the cancer in my brain was growing larger and we were going to have to look at different treatment options to see if we could control it.

For some reason, I withdrew into a shell this time. I have to admit that I was scared, and all I wanted to do was spend time with my family and God. My heart was weary, and I felt overwhelmed by this fight. Brian stayed home with me all day Wednesday and held me as I cried. I have to say that I wasn't a soldier for God that day. I felt defeated! Each day, I dealt with it a little better. I listened to healing scriptures and started back on the more strict form of my healing diet. By the end of the week I was becoming a little stronger, but still only wanted to be with family. So, thank you for all of your prayers and love because I felt it as I grew stronger and dealt with all this through the week.

So, my oncologist (our beloved Dr. Peppercorn) made an appt for me to meet with Dr. Kirkpatrick at Duke. Dr. Kirkpatrick is the only Dr. that offers the surgery that I needed for the growth in my brain. The biggest obstacle we were facing was the amount of cancer that was there. If there were over six spots, I would not be a candidate for the surgery. Tuesday morning we went for my MRI at 6:30 in the morning....yuck! While we were in the waiting room, we met a man battling brain mets from melanoma. He was a patient of Dr, Kirkpatrick's and only had wonderful things to tell us about him. He told us that Dr. Kirkpatrick was a very humanistic doctor and believed in doing everything he could to save a life. So that really encouraged me! I went back for my MRI, and I wish I could describe the peace that came over me during that test. When she asked me to lie down, I began to cry. I usually recite the Lord's prayer over and over while I am in those scans. This time was different. As I put my head down, I just cried and said, "God I trust you, but I love you even more than I trust you. Your will be done." Can you believe I actually went to sleep in that scan?

After we left the scan, I kept reminding myself of Psalm 112: 7..."he will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord." I knew I had to come to a point where that verse represented my attitude as I walked into the doctors office. If I told you that I was completely "there", I would be lying to you. So, please be patient with my human side!!! We sat in that office for almost an hour before they came in...so you can imagine the tension!

Then God took over! Dr. Kirkpatrick has a resident working with him, and he came in to speak to us first. He explained that they had been looking over my scans. He did a physical on me and asked me a battery of questions. Are you experiencing headaches? Do you have blurry vision? Are you dizzy? Is your balance hindered? Every answer was no, no, no!!! He proceeded to say, well we are glad to hear that because we just cannot located the increase in size that the ct apparently suggests. He went on to explain that disease progression just wasn't something they felt like they were dealing with. He and Dr. Kirkpatrick just could not find any reason why I needed further treatment at this point. I looked at my mom and Brian and tears were just streaming down my mom's face. Brian looked puzzled and asked him to repeat what he just said. When he did, I wish you could have seen the joy that came over my husband's face as he began to cry. In that moment, I felt so loved by my mom and Brian. So, everything went great from that moment on. Dr. Kirkpatrick came in to talk to us, and he was truly as amazing as we heard he was. He was this precious man that just seemed full of joy as he shared his opinion with us. He told me that he had compared every scan I had from January to now and could only note a remarkable recovery. He explained that there are still three places in my brain (we thought we had gone down to one), but he doesn't know if the spots are residual scar tissue or if it is actually living cancer. He is having me come in December 8 for another MRI and if my cancer has grown....AT ALL....he is going to perform the surgery. He told me that I am definitely a candidate for the surgery....Praise God! He also told me that Duke has one of only ten of these machines in THE WORLD!!! I don't even want to see my bill after this! Here is the best news though. His nurse/direct assistant came in to talk to us about the surgery in case we need it next month. She explained to us that it will kill the cancer. She said the amazing thing is, now that I am under Dr. Kirkpatrick's care, he will keep a constant eye on my disease. This surgery can be done as many times as I need it because it does not harm any healthy brain tissue around the cancer. It only destroys the cancer. That is so much better than whole brain radiation! She actually told me that they consider it their job to keep my brain as healthy as they can, and they will do everything to make that happen.

I felt so encouraged about my overall prognosis when I left Duke yesterday! Honestly, I have been going to a chiropractor that has been working on my healing through my nervous system and spinal cord for several months now. He has told me over and over that God designed our bodies to heal on their own. We just have to give our body everything it needs to do that. So, far he has been right. I believe with all of my heart that yesterday's news came from God as answer to these prayers. I believe that I am going to be healed and I am going to raise my children. Sometimes God just has to reassure us when man confuses us! I honestly don't know how anyone could follow my story and not believe in God. God is alive and well! He is an active part of the world we are living in....it is our job to allow him to be an active part of our individual lives. If God were not part of this journey, I would not be here today sending this e-mail. We have all done this together through our belief in Him and our prayers. Let's continue to pray that I never need that surgery. I know that I serve a capable and willing God! I just have to learn how to really trust Him.
Thank you for standing in the gap for me this week. You will never know the purpose you are serving in all of this....but it is a mighty one!
I love you all