Today's Treasure
"In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David"
2 Samuel 13: 1
You know, you can read this scripture alone and know that we are headed for trouble!!! I have read this story many times before, and I just do not get it!!! Why do the men in this family always have a need to conquer something that does not belong to them? Do we even need to mention the crimes against nature here? On top of that, what father would not think it strange for a grown man to request his sister to feed him from her hand when he was sick? That just sounds perverted from the start!!! Why didn't a flag go up in David's mind that he may need to protect Tamar? Maybe I am missing another one of those strange cultural practices...but come on!!! Let's get on with this lesson...the sooner we deal with it, the better!!!
What prophecy did Nathan make about the house of David after he slept with Bathsheba?
The sword would never depart from his house
Read 2 Samuel 13: 1 - 22
Identify the children of David listed in these verses and any information you learn about them
1. Amnon - son of David
2. Absalom - son of David and brother to Tamar
3. Tamar - sister of Absalom and scripture notes that she is beautiful
How does scripture describe Amnon's friend, Jonadab?
Scripture describes him as a shrewd man
Which of the following describe Tamar's attempts to reason with Amnon?
She reminded Amnon of how wicked his actions would be considered in Israel, she asked him to consider the disgrace she would suffer, and she suggested that Amnon ask David for her hand in marriage
Why do you think Amnon's love turned so quickly to hate?
Amnon was not in love with Tamar. His lust for her made him desire her.
Why was Tamar wearing a richly ornamented robe?
Because she was the virgin daughter of the king
Describe the reactions of the following individuals to the crime against Tamar
Tamar - She mourned and tore her garments. She was left desolate
Absalom - He tried to nurture his sister. He told her to remain quiet and not be upset by the incident (yeah, right!). Absalom also hated Amnon
David - He was furious, but did nothing to Amnon
It is important to note that the name Amnon means "trustworthy and faithful"
This Amnon did not prove worthy of his name. Amnon watched his father and followed his example. His father took many wives and had many women in his life. This was a terrible example for him to set for his children. They did not learn that certain things are off limits to those who love the Lord. Amnon felt there was nothing he wanted that he could not obtain because of who he was. Tamar is described as beautiful, just as Bathsheba was described in earlier scripture. Amnon was determined to have her because of his lust. Then, once he slept with her, he hated her. It was simply a desire to conquer what he felt he had to have. Amnon had no consideration for Tamar as an individual. All he could see was the need to satisfy himself.
Read Genesis 16: 1 - 6
What comparison can you make between Sarai's reaction to the sin she had sown and Amnon's reaction to his sin?
When Sarai could not give Abraham children, she devised a plan for him to sleep with her maidservant and conceive a child. I think it is interesting that they made it "official" because scripture said Sarai gave Hagar for Abraham to take as his wife!!! Once Hagar conceived a child with Abraham, she hated Sarai. Sarai blamed all of this on Abraham. Then she began to mistreat Hagar.
Absalom advised Tamar to keep quiet about the things that happened to her. I can see that he was trying to nurture her, but it came out all wrong. When something this profound happens to a woman, the last thing she needs to be told is to keep quiet and not worry about it. This changed the course of Tamar's life. She was now destined to live her life in her brother's home and never experience the joys of a family of her own. Absalom should have embraced her and shown sympathy for what she was going through. I definitely understand that we are talking about a much different time. However, the human heart has not changed over time. We have always had the capacity to love and care for others. I am sure Absalom could have seen into Tamar's pain if he wanted to. He was preoccupied with already plotting against his brother. Do you think he wanted revenge for Tamar or Absalom?
Have you ever experienced someone giving well-meaning advice or answers when you needed love and support?
What about their words added to you pain?
Oh, yes...this has been the story of my life since my diagnosis. I have had so many friends that really have said all the right things. Yet, we always have the ones that insist on sharing every cancer story they have ever heard with me. They really don't think about the outcome before they start the story. You hear, "I had a friend that battled it for years...", or "I lost my such and such to breast cancer". You have no idea how discouraged I get when I hear these things. I need to hear survivor stories....I need to know I am going to survive!!!
Can you remember a time in your life when you had to remain silent on an overwhelming issue? What did the silence evoke in you?
The anger grew. If I could have dealt with it in a healthy way, I could have moved on rather than building more and more anger
Take a look at David's own words in Psalm 39: 1 - 3
Describe the impact of silence on him
He ended up speaking with anger because the silence caused his anguish to increase and his heart to grow hot
We are left to wonder why David did not step in and handle this situation. Do you think he blamed himself for the things that were going wrong in his family. I am sure he was reminded of what Nathan told him. I am sure he saw the sin he committed with Bathsheba in this situation. Maybe he felt as though he was responsible for his son's actions because of the example he set for him. Even so, this does not excuse us from taking control when things are going bad in our family. David was the father of his home. He was ultimately responsible for these children. His past sin was no excuse for them. He should have stepped up in an effort to keep his past sin from following his children and future generations. When we mess up, we have to be willing to look at our children and tell them that we messed up. We have to accept our sin and encourage them to not take part in it. When God forgives us, we must use that as an opportunity to stand for what is right. For example, if a young girl were to have an abortion and ask the Lord to forgive her, that sin is forgiven. She is cleansed of the sin that once separated her from God. However, it would be very easy for her to blame herself if her own daughter (years down the road) came to her with an unplanned pregnancy. This is not the way God intended us to deal with our past sin. The mother is responsible for teaching her daughter the possible outcome of inappropriate action of abortion. Who better to teach her daughter than one that has experienced the pain of that sin and the joy of being forgiven. Her hearts desire should be that her daughter never have to come before the Lord in desperate need of forgiveness as she once did. The mother should make every effort to raise her child in the knowledge of what scripture has to say about abortion.
Read Micah 7: 8 - 9
Write your own personal paraphrase of the verses
I may have fallen, but I will rise again when the Lord intercedes for me. I will be brought from darkness into the light once more.
Do you see how crippling our unwillingness to fully accept the Lord's forgiveness can be?
Why do you think God can forgive us but we often have difficulty fully accepting His forgiveness?
Because we constantly remind ourselves of our sin rather than reminding ourselves of the glory of our Lord
Can you believe we are on week 8?
I am pumped about how far we have come together?
I love you all
In Him,
Tiffany Pate
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